The dreaded 'f' word: finals

So it's finally finals week. I'd like to take a moment to tell everyone DON'T PANIC.

And don't worry, for those of you paranoid students with serious insomnia like me, here's Gandalf to provide you some study motivation: YOU SHALL NOT PASS.

But in all seriousness (or non-seriousness, as it be), take a moment to put things in perspective. Your life does not hinge on whether or not you pass a class. If the worst thing that ever happens in your life is having to repeat a class, you have a pretty durn awesome life.

Everything happens for a reason! Trust that. If you're trying to do the best you know how, things will work out. Not maybe how you want, but always how they need to be. Don't be afraid to fail. To take chances. To jump when you need to. and hold back when you need to as well. Trust that there's a higher power driving things. Call it what you will.

And don't stop believing!

Pet Peeve

I don't ever talk about things like pet peeves much. In fact, I really try not to have pet peeves at all. But recently, I came to the conclusion that I do, in fact, have one pet peeve that drives me crazy, and that is people who are "nice guys" and "nice girls".

Let me explain. Being a nice guy isn't nice at all. In fact, it's usually downright fakery. A charade. A masquerade. A hoax. A sham. KaBLaM! (It rhymed...I had to do it!)

For example, people who shrug off compliments by criticizing their own work, e.g.,

"Hey, you did a great job on that painting."

"Thanks. I kinda feel like it's a bit dull though."

TAKE THE DURN COMPLIMENT AND MOVE ON. Don't take it as an excuse to degrade yourself, which really indicates low self-esteem, and you could even just look at it as fishing for compliments, even if that's not what you mean to do.

Life's hard enough without you beating yourself up over your own mistakes. Feel free to tell that obnoxious voice in the back of your mind that it can shut up and go jump off a cliff. After all, it's just an annoying voice. If has no feelings. You're the one with the feelings, and quite frankly, you have the right to be as happy as you choose to, and Mr. Stupidface McDegrading can go fly a kite. On the moon.

So choose to be happy and stop being a nice guy. Be yourself. Be the best you you can. Be the kind of person that makes everyone else want to be a better them. That's all anyone really wants from you.

Being "nice" isn't nice. It's frustrating. Why does this frustrate me so much? Because I do it. So if you catch me being an obnoxious nice guy, go ahead and call me out on it. I really won't mind. And everyone - you, me, Mr. Rogers, Mr. T, Mr. Mister, and even your imaginary pet cat Mr. Fluffycuddlekins - will be happier.

So please, do everyone involved a favor. Choose to be yourself. Stop beating yourself up. You've got enough problems as it is without becoming your own worst enemy.

Instead, read this. No, really, read it. It inspired this post, to some extent.

Man's Manifesto: Life, Love, and Michael Bolton

So I was totally convinced that I'd already written something on this incredibly important topic: love. Apparently I was either dreaming, daydreaming, or had recently taken some melatonin...not sure which.

In any event, I've given a lot of thought on this subject, and my thoughts on what it means to be a real man. I almost considered the approach of quantifying it - bringing it all down to a list of what you do...but fact of the matter is, you can fake it and still not be a man. You can be a total jerk and still come off as everything you'd imagine in the perfect man - charming, cute, funny, chivalrous, strong, with a dashing mustache, or whatever you may imagine.

But being a man isn't about what you do. You can be an auto mechanic, businessman, factory worker, schoolteacher, entertainer, or anything else you can imagine, and still be a man. It's about who you are. And what is it that really makes a man?


I always find it funny when experts come out with some sort of new idea as to why it is that people in our generation don't marry as often or as young as previous generations. There was an article a couple of days ago in the Daily Universe that talked about technology being a possible reason.

I disagree.

The reason our generation doesn't marry as young or as often is because we don't understand what love is.


More than anything, it's a real understanding of love. Not mushy, overly-emo, ridiculous Hollywood story 'love'.


"When a man loves a woman..." (Thank you, years of listening to Michael Bolton...)

Hollywood and the rise of entertainment in general has led us to think that our lives have to be storybook perfect. That if there's a snag, we have to abandon ship. That sparks have to fly, entire nations have to crumble, and the world has to completely turn around when we fall in love.

Wrong. When a man loves a woman, he doesn't turn his back on his best friend. That's not real love. Fact: your grandparents understand real love a whole lot better than you think.

Chemically, people 'fall in love' - that crazy rush that you probably confuse for love. That chemical rush can last, at longest, for about two years. But what happens when that's over? Things fall apart. Period.

Think about every other kind of love now. Or what you think is every other kind of love, because what the world has gotten you to believe is that the crazy chemical rush is true love, and that other stuff is, well, other stuff.

Wrong.

All that other stuff is true love. That rush is a part of it, but it's nowhere near everything. Here's an example in my life: my mom. I know my mom truly loves me. How? Well, as a kid, I got sick...a lot. And when I say a lot, I mean that I remember once in fourth grade I had pretty nasty pneumonia and missed a month of school straight. I had ear infections at least three or four times a year. Strep throat was common. I don't even know how many times I had tubes.

All those times when I was sick as a dog, with a fever, I remember my mom was there, every time, to help me. In big or small things, she was there. When I had my tympanoplasty, when I had the jaw surgery, my tonsils, a fever, a cold, a broken arm, a wasp sting on my ear, or even a black eye from flag football, my mom took care of me.

Real love isn't about always agreeing. We disagree all the time, my mom and I. But I know she cares about me.

The key to real love, in the end, is the ability to inspire greatness in others. To bring out the best.

I think of teachers who have inspired me. My parents. My grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, and even random people on the street who just make me want to be better. That right there is real love.

A while ago I found a short story that talks about how to recognize real love. In it, there's three questions that rather easily sum up how to do so. I use it as a sort of litmus test for love. They are:

• Does this person inspire me to do better in school/work and help me in my efforts to be better?
• Does this person inspire me to be a better friend, father/mother, husband/wife, man/woman, son/daughter, etc?
• Does this person inspire me to draw closer to God and be a better person overall?

If you can answer yes to all three of those questions, then that is true love. Period.

Once you understand that true love is what it talks about in 1 Corinthians 13, you start to understand why a guy who beats his girlfriend/wife doesn't really love her, and the sheer absurdity of a woman saying, "It's okay, because he loves me." Physical and psychological violence have absolutely nothing to do with love.

Perfect love casteth out all fear.

You realize the absurdity of a couple who is pretty much nonfunctional when apart because they're so obsessed with each other that they can't do anything but think of the other.

You see how ridiculous it is to quantify what your ideal mate would be, or even start making a list of what they have to be like. Real love isn't a checklist. It's about what's in your heart, and each and every one of us have unique and different ways of expressing that love.

A real man understands how to bring out the best in others. That's what it means to love. So a real man knows how to love. A mechanic, drive-through worker, businessman, schoolteacher, or even a musician can do that. The end.

Ek skop die perd.

It's time for a shameless plug on my part for anyone who's trying to decide on what classes they should take. So today I got bored and decided to take a look at easy languages to learn, and guess what I found?

Apparently Afrikaans is one of the easiest languages for English-speaking natives to learn. The Afrikaans program at BYU is currently floundering as far as I understand, and frankly, having taken just one semester of it, I find that saddening. Afrikaans is kind of what I'd call a gateway language. It's basically Dutch for kindergartners. It's only got three verb tenses, so learning it is almost entirely vocabulary - which is to say it's super easy. Easier than Spanish. For real. I'm currently brushing up on my Afrikaans using Google Translate and the Book of Mormon. For pronunciation, Google Translate doesn't work well, but it's really good for getting just what you need - the vocab.

And since it's a Germanic language, you can understand several other languages - my brother is currently learning Norwegian, and a lot of the words carry over. Checking out that same list, you'll be able to understand the Danish and Swedish to some extent, not to mention the Dutch.

So for those of you who're still struggling with class selection and have a huge hole to fill, pick Afrikaans. Do it. Nine times. Even a single semester of it you won't regret, because it gives you a huge in to other Germanic languages.

Today could be awesome. It's your choice.

Your choice is simple: happiness or sadness.

You can complain all you like about your situation. That won't change it. You can think about all the things you wish you were. That won't make you them. You can compare yourself over and over and over again to everyone you know -- and everyone you don't know -- and always find yourself coming up short. You can live life relative to everything else, measuring distance relative to the landmarks around you, relative to the distance traveled, the miles covered, the milestones achieved, and the monuments left behind. You can live looking back in the rearview mirror, seeing everything disappear, or staring at the horizon ahead, always afraid of what's coming. You can live paralyzed by insecurities and doubts, internal and external, and let yourself get caught up in perceptions of the truth, living vicariously through the criticism and negativity, letting it determine who you are. You can let your future be determined by everyone else and what they expect from you. You can be the loser. The drug addict. The drunkard. The failure. The lazy one. The fake. The melodramatic. The jerk. The quiet one. The loud one. The paranoid. The overly busy. You can let the world tell you what makes you happy. You can spend your whole life chasing the dreams you're fed from others' imaginations, invented so they can make a quick buck, and find, after years of chasing, that you're nowhere near anything that matters, anything recognizable, or even anything remotely beautiful. You can live your life and be acted upon, like a prop. You can be the tool, the chump, the manipulated, the gullible. You can watch the television, day after day, channel after channel, and find that after all you've seen, you really aren't any better for it. You're still just as empty.

The choice is yours.

The only thing we really have in life is our ability to choose. To choose what we do, what we wear, what we think, and, ultimately, who we are. Some choices really don't matter in the grand scheme of things. What color of umbrella you buy is probably not going to determine the outcome of your life. But there are choices that matter.

The first thing you need to do is understand that you can't control everything. In fact, there's a pretty limited scope of what you can control: your actions, reactions, thoughts, and feelings. Can you control somebody else? No. Don't even try. Can you control the weather? Good luck.

Things will happen. Some of those things will, well, suck. Some of them will be totally awesometastic and make everything worth it and make sense. Not every day is going to get a 0 out of 10 or a 10 out of 10. Face the facts. Most days are probably somewhere in the 5-7 range. At least, for me, that's where they fall. They're not awesome, but they're not terrible. They're just days.

So what are you to do? Make excuses as to why today can't be awesome? "It's raining. I hate rain." "I didn't get my homework done, so I'm mad." Think of it. How often do we qualify our moods on things that we have absolutely no control over? What's the use in wasting your already short life by purposely making it worse and wasting time complaining about something that you're never going to be able to change? Really, there isn't. So stop complaining about things you have no control over. Be it, "So-and-so doesn't like me! WAA!" or "I hate the cold!" or "I hate it when people do/don't do such-and-such!"

You control your reactions. If there's something to be done about a problem, instead of wasting time complaining, DO SOMETHING.

If you're really bothered by people who don't recycle, start a recycling campaign. If you wish people wouldn't complain, start a positivism movement. If you want people to be happy, give them a reason to be happy!

You define your life. You. Yourself. Nobody else does. Not your mom. Not your dad. Not your brother or sister. Not your uncle, aunt, cousin, grandma, or grandpa. Not the bullies at school. Not your defects. Not your insecurities. Not your fears. You. You are so much more than what you think. Don't limit yourself. Be  different. Make a difference. Make a decision. Don't be afraid of failure. Everyone fails. Every day.

What separates the happy ones from the sad ones is that they pick themselves up and keep going. They have a dream and they stick to it. They decide they want something - something good - and they go after it with everything they are.

When's the last time you did that?

Make the choice. Choose what you think about. Focus on what matters. On what's good. Surround yourself  with it. Dive into it. Get away from what drags you down. As far away as possible. Choose your words wisely. Build, don't break. Would you rather be remembered for the kind words you choose to say, or the unintentionally rude words you unthinkingly utter? The choice is yours. Today could be awesome.

You all understand!

http://www.stephaniemabey.com/

If you haven't heard of her before, you're missing out. The absolutely awesome Zombie Song is currently a free download. Get it. Nine times.

One thing you'll have to understand is that I'm going to make a lot of obscure references to things and then go out of my way to find links that help you understand why I say half the stupid things I do. now if only real life had something like that. That way I could just, you know, call up a youtube video above my head to explain what I'm talking about to someone. Instead of looking like a blithering idiot.

Today in my songwriting class, I performed for the first time since getting home from Chile in front of a group of people. Can I say I was incredibly nervous? Like I-stood-behind-the-piano-so-you-couldn't-see-my-twitching-leg nervous? I nearly fell over. It was awesome.

The end.

Robots can't love.

Courtesy of a favorite webcomic of mine, I accidentally discovered some pretty interesting stuff yesterday.

First off is www.cleverbot.com - pretty much someone's attempt to get a robot to pass the Turing Test, which is essentially a test to determine whether or not a given respondent to the test is human or not. Apparently it's doing a fairly good job.

Next up is this video...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnzlbyTZsQY. It's two chat bots talking to each other. Some freaky things to note...

• Both bots identified the other as a robot
• The subject of God was addressed
• One of the robots wanted a body

Anybody else worried about the impending robot apocalypse? Yeah, me neither.

But anyway, it got me thinking. That and the fact that Cleverbot keeps bringing up the subject of love have made me have to explain to a robot why it can't love.

So here's why robots can't love.

Love is a decision. No matter what the songs say, what the media may have you think, love it not some mystical magical force that just sucks people in like some horrifying black hole calamity and ruins lives, relationships, and exterminates the dodo bird.

In order to really be able to make a decision - a moral decision, not a random decision, you have to be free. Robots aren't free. They're programmed. They are defined and have their limits. A robot cannot make a moral decision because they aren't really alive. They're like some sort of freaky macro-virus-thingy.

Allow me to explain. Right about now Jenny Deenik is going to be so proud that I actually remembered our discussion sophomore year as to what makes something alive, and my little sister is probably going to say, "Hey, we just did that!"

There are seven general characteristics of life.

• Ability to reproduce. Robots can't.
• Response to stimuli. Robots do.
• Growth. Robots...don't.
• Adaptation. Good AI like Cleverbot does adapt, so points there.
• Metabolism...I suppose you could consider some forms of robotic power like that...but I have yet to see a clear-cut example of robotic metabolism.
• Organization. Well, robots are organized...but not on a cellular level.
• Homeostasis, or the regulation of internal environment such as temperature. I don't think cooling fans and heat sinks qualify for this.

So, in general, robots get a 3-4 out of 7.

The point being that robots can't love. At least, not yet.

Love is a choice. Love isn't randomly born and then one day just dies. We choose whether or not to love. We may fight a lot with people who are really close to us, but at the end of the day, we may still choose to love them. We are free to choose, and act based on those choices. It's the one thing we have, really. Our choices. We can choose love or hate. It's easy when you get right down to it.

So remember: choose love. Because robots can't.

Monday Music Map

Well, I promised music updates on Mondays...not sure how long this is going to hold out. I'm a bit too ADD to really stick to that kind of a commitment. But somehow I'll try.

If you haven't seen this site, and are looking for new music, check it out. It's called the Music Map. Put in a band you like and it gives you a map of similar artists that other people listen to. I'm finding several new bands to listen to. Alternately, check out http://www.gnoosic.com/. That's the main site. It lets you put in 3 of your favorite bands and then gives a series of recommendations based on feedback from other users to find new bands for you.

I decided to try breaking the AI used by inputting the same band 3 times, and found out something interesting: unfortunately, selections made are based off only one of the bands you list. Then I got even more bored and decided to find three bands that are entirely unrelated and plug them in. Gandalf (apparently a death metal band - found them on Wikipedia and have never listened to them. Probably never will), Leona Lewis, and The Moldy Peaches. Turns out I didn't recognize a single band...which wasn't very useful, especially since I couldn't tell which of the three they were similar to.

Interestingly enough, turns out that this website also allows you to look for books and movies.

You'll probably be hearing even less from me now.

I'm not kidding. I may just hole up in the library and find all the new authors is recommends.

See, I was that one kid in middle school who read way too much. To illustrate the point, apparently, my little sister ran into the middle school librarian the other day, and ten years later she still remembers me by name. I don't think I ever once did anything more than check out books.

So...see you never.

Ciao!

Truth is

Truth is, some days I don't feel like getting out of bed. That's why I love napping.

Anyone reading this should know that I have depression. And I look at it much like Churchill's black dog.

A lot of the reason I focus so much on so many good things is because it's what keeps me going when things get bad. And bad they get. There's days where it follows me to and from class, down the streets, up and down stairs, to breakfast, lunch, dinner, everywhere. It shuts me down and sucks the life out of everything.

It invades everything, from everyday conversations, to my favorite songs, to watching the sun set, doing homework, parties, dances, running, singing, even laughing. Especially laughing.

Truth is I'm an actor. Quite possibly one of the truest statements I've ever heard is that sometimes the person who laughs the loudest is covering their own sadness. I am this person. When I don't feel happy, I put on a smile and tell the world everything is hunky dory. I laugh so hard I cry, just to de-stress and enjoy the moment. I goof around, do stupid things, and say even stupider things, because if I can make people laugh, then I'm at least doing something good.

For the same reason I love giving service. It means I'm useful and needed.

I often feel alone. In fact, probably my biggest fear is being alone. Not by myself. Alone. Understand that there's a difference.

But I know I'm not. And I know I'm not the only one who feels like this. And so I work my tail off to tell the people going through the nightmares I do that things will be okay. That there's hope. That there's a silver lining. That they're needed and loved. Everyone needs to hear that. Not a single human being on this planet doesn't need love. And I'm not talking 60's-style promiscuity "love". I mean the kind of love that makes the human race truly great. The kind of love that sets aside selfishness and reaches out to help someone in need.

We are not alone in this journey. We may feel it. We may think it. But we don't have to make that our reality.

We have friends. We have family. We have people who would give their lives for us, and on a daily basis, do, whether or not they even know us. Soldiers, policemen, firefighters. And above and beyond that, we have a Father who knows and loves us, and who is perfect. And who has promised that He will not leave us comfortless.

And so it is that in moments like this, when for absolutely no reason I felt like crying myself to sleep, that feeling is replaced by the hope that tomorrow will be better, and that I can learn to live with this black dog by my side. I've done it before.

It's not easy. But it's worth it.

Press on. Push along.
Like soldiers, march on.

Boys speak in rhythm (and girls in code)

So you know the special section at the end of foreign language dictionaries with the pronunciation guide? One huge lesson that I learned in Chile is that those parts of dictionaries lie. Horribly. So I wrote up my own personal pronunciation guide for Spanish that helped me get the pronunciation down.

Vowels:

• a - spoken as in father and ah
• e - eh? and aim (without the i sound)
• i - eat, evil! (like Mermaidman says it!)
• o - oh, zero
• u - ooh, rude
• y - see 'i'

Some important notes: all vowels are pronounced, except for when 'u' is in gue, gui, and qui - then the u is silent.

Consonants:

• b - normally pronounced just as in English. However, when it's between vowels, it's like the English 'v' except that instead of using of using one lip, both are used. The pronunciation rules for b and v are the same.
• c - before a,o, and u, it's a hard sound like English 'k', and before 'e' and 'i' it's soft, like in cent.
• d - in English, you normally place your tongue on the ridge behind your your upper teeth to make this sound, without touching the teeth. For Spanish, place the tip of your tongue to the back of your teeth to make the first sound d makes in Spanish. When d is between vowels or at the end of a word, pronounce it like the th in thy.
• f - Same as in English
• g - normal pronunciation before a, o, and u, a hard pronunciation as in God. Before e and i, soft, just like the Spanish j.
• h - makes no sound in Spanish.
• j - You know how your Spanish teacher told you it's pronounced like h in English? Well that's a lie. It's not. Put your tongue in the position to make a g or k sound in English. Now breathe out and let air escape between your tongue and the roof of your mouth. That rasping sound you hear is the Spanish j.
• k - almost never used in Spanish unless borrowed from another word like kilogramo or kilometro.
• l - Similar to English. Instead of touching the front part of the tongue to the roof of your mouth, touch just the tip of your tongue.
• ll - unless you're in Argentina, this is just like the English y.
• m - as in English
• n - as in English
• p - as in English, but less forced. Put your hand a few inches from your mouth and feel how the air hits it. Spanish has a softer p sound.
• q - almost always paired with a u, the qu pair is pronounced as an English k.
• r - NOT LIKE ENGLISH! The tongue taps the place where an English speaker makes the t or d sound.
• rr - This sound doesn't exist in English, which is probably why it's so hard to pronounce. I honestly thought I would never be able to pronounce it, but with patience and time I now can. Trill the regular r, imitating a car engine or machine gun. 
• s - same as in English.
• t - not like English. See first pronunciation of d for tongue placement.
• v - see rules for b.
• w - this really doesn't exist in English, except in slang. Used just as in English.
• x - just like in English, but pay attention. Some words spelled with s pronounce it as an s. In Mexico, it's often pronounced as a j. I haven't found a hard-cut rule on pronunciation.
• y - typically, just like i in Spanish. In some placements it's like the English j - conyuge, Yarenya
• z - pronounced as a soft c.

So that's about it! I'll try to post updates on here from time to time with other tricks and tidbits on languages and such.

Manic Monday

It's mad music Monday! Why? Because I just decided it is. Mondays I'm going to post about music. Just for the alliteration.

For me, music isn't about money. If it was, the band would actually be going somewhere. Music is about two things, really

1. Having fun and destressing.
2. Uplifting and inspiring.

For me, if it doesn't do both of those, it really isn't music. I'll let you guess what that means about my musical preferences.

So since I came back, I've kind of been blown away by the huge changes in technology since I came out to college again. I remember around the time I left that the robot guitar had just come out a few months earlier. Now we're dealing with this jazz - acoustic electric cymbals. Holy. Guacamole (which, by the way, is totally delicious).

It's secretly my dream to retire from the world, live on a private island, and spend my time making acoustic guitars and playing private concerts. My love of music is half of the reason I decided to declare electrical engineering for my major - I love making things, and making musical things combines the best of both worlds. Pretty much, I just love working with my hands, if you can't tell.

The only problem I have now is how to get power to said remote island. That, and the whole private concert idea kind of defeats the purpose of having the private island.

So I'll just stick to being obsessed with new music and my life-long dream of performing at Red Rocks Amphitheatre.

A story behind every one

So I was looking over old files on my laptop, and came across this list, which consists entirely of daily lessons learned a few years back in the summer of '08. This was around the time I had my nasty jaw surgery. Just so y'all are aware.

2008 lessons

1. It is, in fact, possible to cry so hard you laugh so hard you cry.
2. When told to be patient, be patient. Don't whine about how it's hard.
3. Good things take time.
4. Dancing is an effective cure for particularly severe cases of feeling blue.
5. Be grateful for pain. It means you're alive. It means you can feel.
6. Don't ask for more than you're given.
7. There is in fact such a thing as too much rain.
8. When feeling particularly bad, cookies your little sister just made and pulled out of the oven taste incredible and set you back in a better, if not altogether good, mood.
9. Be grateful for everything. You don't know what might be gone tomorrow.
10. Family is everything.
11. It is okay to laugh when things seem at their worst. It helps.
12. Taking a walk is a particularly good idea when at a loss for what to do, but particularly bad when done in sandals.
13. Friends have a habit of knowing what you need to do to cheer up a lot better than you do.
14. Do everything in your power to never go on a liquid diet, even if you wind up in a retirement home.
15. Miracles happen every day if you just slow down and take a look at what's happening.
16. Take life as it comes to you. Doing anything else is just plain stupid.
17. Don't ask for an answer you know isn't coming any time soon.
18. Sometimes you have to leap before you look, and trust that things will work out when there is no way of knowing anything will.
19. Prayer works.
20. It is possible to become best friends in less than five days.
21. When one chapter closes, there's always another one right around the corner.
22, Doors don't always lock after closing.
23. Sing. And don't stop.
24. Often, we don't know the effect we have on others' lives.
25. Girls will never not be confusing beyong all imagining.
26. Learn from the past, plan for the future, but above all else, live right now.
27. It is okay to be completely terrified, so long as you go on in spite of it.
28. Communication=good.
29. There are no such thing as coincidences. Everything happens for a reason.
30. Don't try making up for lost time.
31. Mistakes are necessary, even when doing what's right. Especially when.
32. Why worry about what you can't change?
33. The stoics were right: you can control your thoughts, actions, and reactions. Beyond that, it's out of your hands.
34. God's way is a whole lot better than yours.
35. No matter  what you eat, if it's the first solid thing you've had in nearly a month, it will make you cry.
36. Sometimes you just need to spend all day playing video games with your friends.
37. A sandwich made with Adam's Love Substitute is not nearly as good as a sandwich made with the real thing.
38. Morphine really messes with your head.
39. DON'T DO STUPID THINGS.
40. Actually, just don't be stupid.
41. It is possible for perfect strangers to completely understand each other's lives.
42. Life is what you make of it. Choose happiness.
43. Letting go is often easier than trying to hold on.
44. Timing is just as important as everything else.
45. Say goodbye when you have to. Even if it means not seeing a friend for the next three years.
46. A world full of good intentions never fixed anything. You have to do something, and you'd darn well better do it right.
47. There will never be enough music in the world.
48. Sometimes it's okay to make a complete fool of yourself in front of hundreds of people.
49. LTG, CTR, and don't microwave hamsters, gerbils or other rodents. Cats are right out.
50. Great things happen in our lives to show us God knows and cares about us.
51. It's important to understand why.
52. If you're not asking questions, you're not getting answers either.
53. Sometimes it takes three years to understand. When you finally do, don't be surprised to find yourself laughing at a streetlight at ten PM on a Friday night in the middle of nowhere.
54. It is faith that makes us strong.
55. Sometimes inspiration comes in the form of a singing frog, a video game, or maybe even ice cream.
56. Sometimes, goodbye's the only way.
57. Death is just the next great adventure, and heaven is one big group hug/dance party.
58. Don't risk what you don't want to lose. Don't even think about it. Gambling is stupid for a reason.
59. When you're afraid of the future, imagine it's an adventure, and you're a pirate. Problems are a lot less intimidating when you're a pirate.
60. There are fates worse than death.
61. Fear is a friend who's misunderstood.
62. Sometimes your parents are actually right! Who'da thunk?
63. It is possible to learn a lesson from anything in life, even baby food jars.
64. Wisdom comes from experience. Not from fortune cookies.
65. Be meek.
66. Be patient.
67.

What good does us reason if we fail to see?

Today I'd like to talk about absolutely nothing at all. I don't have anything in mind (it's literally empty), and to be honest part of the reason I'm writing now is to avoid doing homework. This past weekend was General Conference, which, of course, means that I had zero time to do anything other than that. In the end, though, everything worked out.

To explain, most of my posts are just going to be rants about what I've been thinking about. Maybe they'll go somewhere, maybe not. I'll try to get some sort of point out of everything though.

I've been thinking about love. A lot of people seem to have it in their minds that love is something you fall into. Like a hole. Some gaping chasm that you're just moseying along and suddenly you slip on a banana peel and whoosh! there you go out of control down a black hole.

That's dumb.

I read a really interesting book over the summer called The Five Love Languages. Here, Gary Chapman points out that real love has a lot more to do with fulfillment of a psychological need than anything else. The emotional rush is a part of the process, but it wears off, and when it does, if the psychological need isn't met, things fall apart. This is not exclusive to romantic love - for a developing child to feel loved the basic need to feel loved must be filled, and this is one breakdown that I've found useful.

So here's a rough breakdown:

1. Physical touch - these people are touchy-feely. They love hugs, holding hands, kissing, being close to the ones they care about, etc. Not feeling close to the ones they love physically can be devastating. Think of the little kid who always wants to be held or hugged.
2. Words of affirmation - these people thrive on words of approval. Need to hear the good they've done. Need to know they're needed, wanted, appreciated, and that people around them are grateful for what they do, their presence, their efforts and hard work, etc.
3. Quality time - these people need time. They need one-on-one time spent just doing nothing. Chatting, watching the stars, road tripping, no distractions, no agenda, no nothing. Just spending time together.
4. Receiving gifts - these people feel loved when they receive gifts. They don't have to be expensive, fancy, or even overly thought out. Simple things like a cookie, a flower, a card, a letter, a thank-you note, or even a photograph can mean the world to them.
5. Acts of service - these people feel loved when others help them in their work. Doing the dishes for them, making food, washing the car, shining your shoes, walking the dog, or any one of a number of things can really brighten their day.

It's a good book if you're interested. I recommend it.

Love is not so much a hole we fall into as it is an attitude we cultivate towards those around us. Those who best know how to love have learned to recognize what language their friends and family speak and specifically use that language to communicate their love with them.

Imagine what would happen to a person whose language is words of affirmation who, instead of getting compliments from their parents, often got hugs, but their parents always criticized them. They aren't likely to feel loved. Each word of criticism is like a slap in the face to them.

A child who conversely speaks the language of physical touch, and often receives compliments but never hugs, handshakes, high fives, or anything of the sort from their parents will not feel loved either.

We live trying to fill our need for love. Once we start to understand that and understand the languages the ones we love speak, we can learn to speak the same language as them. It's a simple choice, not some sort of magic equation that just works out in the end or doesn't. Once you understand, it's obvious.

Habits and happiness

In general, there are two kinds of people. That statement can be taken in a myriad of ways. How many cliché's can you think up that start with that?

I personally think they're pretty ineffective at actually telling you things about people, largely because we can't be measured quantitatively (by amount) in many aspects, but qualitatively.

Just how red is red? Just how blue is blue?

In general, there are two extremes of people:

1. Extreme one consists of the orderly, productivity-oriented, hardworking, nose-to-the-grindstone types. Picture your stereotypical businessman with his schedule blocked in from 6:30 am to 10:30 pm, complete with a personal secretary to keep him on schedule.
2. Extreme two consists of the free thinkers. The ones with messy rooms. That "have their head in the clouds". The disorderly. The artists, musicians, and hippies of the world, who could pass the whole day "just wasting time".

There are pros and cons to both sides. Let's call them "robots" and "hippies" for easier referral. Please understand that I am in no way making a social commentary - both extremes are just that. Robots can be seen as snobby, boring, uncaring, etc. Hippies can be seen as lazy, stupid, slackers, nobodies, etc. In general, robots see the bad in hippies, and hippies in robots.

None of us is truly one, or the other. We're all somewhere in between, not necessarily straddling the line, but not reaching into the far extreme of one, either.

One important life lesson I've learned is the need for moderation. In this particular case, I'd like to point out the need for moderation with respect to our habits and how they help us achieve happiness.

Happiness really is the ultimate quest in life. Robots mistakenly believe that happiness comes from numbers, products, etc. Hippies mistakenly believe that happiness comes in any and all forms, and it doesn't matter what you do, as long as it makes you feel good.

We need both progress and relaxation. We need to take it slow, but that can't come at the price of learning and growth. What's the fun in life if we never learn anything new? What's the joy in life if we never stop and watch the sun set? 

What's the purpose if we never stop to spend time with the people we love? Money, possessions, rank, title - all of that doesn't go with us when we die. Really the only thing we take with us is the same thing we leave - the legacy of our lives and what we chose to do with it.

At the end of our lives, will we look back and regret all the chances we never took? Will we wish we'd spent more time working, or will we wish we'd spent more time with our loved ones? Will we be remembered for who we were, or what we had?

Life is a time to be happy. It's hard enough as it is. There's no need to overcomplicate it.

The habits you develop today - for better or worse - will stay with you throughout your life. If you choose to plan, learn to plan for the future, not in order to live constantly expecting to arrive at some unattainable, idealistic goal, but so that, by planning each moment, you can truly live in that moment and love it as it is. The difference is something that you can only understand by crossing that bridge yourself.

Remember to smile!

Mark

100%

Hi everyone!

I've been giving a lot of thought this last week about trials.

In Lehi's vision of the Tree of Life, he and his son Nephi make a very interesting point with regards to the great and spacious building (for visual referral and for those not acquainted with the story, attached is an image depicting the vision).

In the vision, the great and spacious building a a symbol of the pride of the world, and those that are inside of it mock those who hold to the iron rod that leads along the path to the tree. Nephi's point, roughly paraphrased, is that all those who paid heed to the words of the scorners and scoffers fell away.

Note that it doesn't say all those who heard them.

And note that it doesn't say some of them fell away, or even most of them.

And that got me thinking: If everyone who pays heed to the scorners and scoffers falls away, what do we do to not pay attention to them?

I'll put it simply: if everyone who pays heed to the devil (or whatever you want to call the source of all negativity) falls away from God and all things good, how do we not? I, for one, am more than prone to see negative aspects of things. Having dealt with a depression (and still in the process of dealing with it), I think that kind of speaks for itself.

The negativity is still there. So what do we do?

Choosing to ignore it only works for so long. Putting off problems and stress does not get rid of them. Finding some neutral point doesn't silence the nagging, worrying, frustrations, tensions, and pressures. Sometimes it's from other people, but I often find that the worst of it comes from myself and that anything outside just adds on top of that.

We have to fill our lives with good, and learn to pay heed only to the good - only to God. To all things virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy. Our self-destructive habits and negative self-talk (a bad habit I have, I'll admit) have to go. We have to stop being our own worst enemies.

We have to, in short, press forward "with steadfast faith in Christ", as Nephi in his later years urges us to. So maybe we'll get distracted, and we may have moments of weakness and failure. God doesn't hate us for that. We can always repent and turn to Him, and He will always, always welcome us. God is love. The more we finally get that through our heads the better we understand that all bad things don't come from God. Negative self-talk isn't negative self-talk, because it's negative, and where do all negative things come from?

Bingo.

Go be happy.

Remember to smile!

Mark

An explanation for the title

So I know I'm going to get a lot of questions on the title I chose for the blog, so I'm just going to explain right off the bat.

Back in Chile, in one of the areas I worked in, Las Viñas, we walked into the church one day for an English class, and when we walked into the primary, the lesson from Sunday had been partially erased. All that was left was the words, "Plan Celest", on the whiteboard. Me being slightly dyslexic, I read, "Plan Celeste" (Plan Sky Blue). It was obvious it should have said, "El Plan Celestial" (The Heavenly Plan).

In other words, I'm dyslexic, and I liked what I read. So it stuck with me.

Things have been really good of late. I can't believe how fast time has flown! I arrived home and suddenly it's like I've been sucked into a totally different world.

Now let's try to figure out how to navigate this world, shall we?

Stay tuned and keep in touch.

Con amor,
Mark